Doctor Who Club of Australia

El_Zoof · Joined: 30 Nov 2005 Posts: 20

I have been granted a vision of the future, and it speaks to me thusly! Herein follows a breakdown of the fourth season of Lost in S... er, Doctor Who.

The first episode will be set on Earth, and feature an easily defeated alien, at the end of which the Doctor will grin and say something intelligent like, "Let's go search out space!"

The second (or possibly third) episode will be set in the last, ooh, 400 years of English history or so, and feature a historical figure of some import, who will aid the Doctor but not necessarily like him.

The third (or possibly second) episode will then be set approximately 123 bazillion years in the future but still feature 21st century cultural references.

The fourth and fifth episodes will be a mildly entertaining but ultimately forgettable two-parter which will make bits of itself unexpectedly felt later on in the season, much to nobody's shock.

The sixth episode will be a pile of crap, with a seemingly meaningless macguffin which, again, will make its present felt at the end of the season.

The seventh episode will be set in 50s Britain but still feature 21st century cultural references. And everyone will be gay.

The eighth and ninth episodes will again be two parters, reaffirming everyone's love of Doctor Who and reminding them just how much they love this series. It will not be written by Russel T. Davies.

The tenth episode, although YET AGAIN set in modern England, will follow this trend.

The eleventh episode will be a musical. Yes, a musical. Featuring singing Daleks, rapping Cybermen and the unexpected* return of Alexi Sayle's DJ character, reanimated from the dead so that we can all enjoy seeing him get killed again.

The final two episodes, written by Russel T. Davies, will be some of the best written television in the history of Doctor Who. Hah! Just kidding. They'll be okay, and leave people thinking "Well, it could have been better, but at least it wasn't as bad as that first two parter." It will end with a short fat man and a tall skinny man appearing in the middle of the TARDIS in the middle of a heated discussion. The Doctor will perplexedly shout "What?!?" followed by an overly complicated routine involving Timelords, baseball and people with stupid names.

The Christmas Episode will have absolutely nothing to do with Christmas, but it will still feature robotic Santas and pointless (but fun) explosions, and a totally meaningless and depressing "poignant" moment near the end, before we're all reminded that the true meaning of Christmas is that it never really snows unless the Doctor makes it snow.

*Well, it was unexpected. Until now.

Tegan · Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:03 am Post subject:

Option 6

You're a Bubble Headed Boobie.

Actually, I laughed out loud, but then again, I like The Chaser as well. Cool

montypython · Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 4:51 pm Post subject:

LMAO. The 2nd/3rd episode sounds pretty accurate.

Ickabod · Joined: 26 Jun 2005 Posts: 504 Location: far far away

cute....very cute Cool

Greg · Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 9:26 am Post subject: Re: Series 4 (non) SPOILERS!

Tegan · Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 9:29 am Post subject: Re: Series 4 (non) SPOILERS!

Speckled Jim · Joined: 14 Jul 2006 Posts: 124 Location: Auckland, Un Zud

Episode 5 or 6 may also, in all likelihood, be a daringly flippant "comedy" story, hastily scrawled by RTD on the back of his hand while he was drunk on the toilet, that made him guffaw hysterically and imbued him with the urge to unleash his radical sense of humour on legions of Who fans, whether or not they wanted it.
It will involve a pink alien made of marshmallow called the Bottomsnott, who has a German accent and a stutter (which makes it funny), a subtle gay subcontext between two more aliens posing as Yorkshire stonemasons (again, this is funny) and no less than 54 jokes involving farting, burping, expectorating and gargling vomit. The Doctor will only feature in it as a gamehow host on a TV screen in a shop window for 3.4 seconds (that's funny and ironic).
Upon its release the fans will hate it and spill their venom in numerous forums. RTD will conduct an interview with The Sun in which he declares he couldn't care less about the fans, it's his show, it's also his bat and his ball and he's going home so nyer nyerny nyer nyer.
He will then announce Nicole Kidman will be returning in Series 5 as the Rani. And she will be gay.

Panecea · Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 3:44 pm Post subject:

The fourth series hasn't started yet and you're already criticising it. Now if that isn't putting the cart before the horse, I don't know what is. Criticisms, at this point, would only serve to cloud judgement later.

ADAMK · Joined: 29 Jun 2005 Posts: 217 Location: Canberra

Funny stuff but RTD is still a genius in my book! Very Happy

SharazJek · Joined: 12 Aug 2005 Posts: 892 Location: Hobart, Tasmania

Speckled Jim · Joined: 14 Jul 2006 Posts: 124 Location: Auckland, Un Zud

Panecea · Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 3:45 pm Post subject:

There is nothing healthy about cynicism. Furthermore, it has been proven that it is of greater benefit to offer solutions as well as criticisms. Drop a line to the BBC.